How to get your five a day the easy way

1) Large glass of red wine. Think of all those grapes. Healthy. Or a pint of cider. Apples are good for you. Beer is made out of hops and though I'm not entirely sure what they are, the fact they grow on trees qualifies them as a fruit.

2) Jelly Tots are now made with 'real fruit juice!' If Innocent smoothies count, so do these.

3) Pizza. Tomato sauce on the base = one serving of fruit. Bonus points if you have something like pineapple or mushroom on top.

4) Chips are potato, which is a vegetable. Unless you buy yours from Iceland, in which case I claim no responsibility for what may be in them.

5) Fruit & nut chocolate - the clue's in the name.